Bags of Sweets

Initially bought for prize and reward purposes, that pretence might be maintained in polite company but left alone with a pile of marking we’ll be mainlining Haribo Tangfastics until the lines on the page begin to blur and we decide it’s finally home time. After a confectionary binge, at least there’s no need to cook, but we do need to go to Poundland to re-stock.

Stationery

Nothing useful. Oh no. An orderly drawer containing boxes of sharpened pencils and glue sticks with lids is the teaching equivalent of El Dorado. Our drawer contains the dregs of office supplies. It is where ballpoint pens go to die.

Discarded Seating Plans

Like the unfinished novel of a literary genius, these tatty manuscripts are testament to hours of meticulous planning and carefully considered ideas that have been cast aside because one awkward character couldn’t be fitted into the jigsaw.

Electronic Cables

Where they came from, we couldn’t tell you. What they do, we couldn’t tell you. What we’re supposed to do with them, we couldn’t tell you. So we’ll leave them there in an unholy tangle for our successors to sort out, just as our predecessor bequeathed them to us.

Illicit Contraband

A hotchpotch of confiscated items ranging from fidget spinners to water bottles to bottles of vodka. Yes, that last one was definitely ‘confiscated’, and so were all these mixers. No, they definitely don’t belong to us. We drink it neat.

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